I came back from dropping my wife and two daughters at DFW airport this morning so that they can spend some time with Jana’s family in Minnesota. While I was happy that we could make this happen, it was a sad moment for me. While I am always sad to be away from my wife of almost 17 years, a few other items have made this a sad time for me.
My eldest, Zoë (4 yrs old - 5 in December), is at the stage of life where everything is an articulated discovery. I’m sad that I won’t get to see and hear as she sees Minnesota through the eyes of a 4-yr old. She’s been there before, but at almost 5 yrs old, it’s going to be an incredibly exciting time for her full of new sounds and smells and sights. She’s at that stage of life where she gets into the non-stop talking phase as she describes what she’s feeling and experiencing. While this can be difficult at times (especially when you’re tired), it’s still amazing to listen to and experience and I cherish those moments.
My youngest, Téya (22 months - 2 yrs old in November) is also at an age of discovery. What she’s discovering is language. Every day she learns new words and begins putting phrases together for the first time. I won’t be there to hear some of those new words and phrases or to laugh with her as she tries to figure out what to say (and says a completely strange word while trying) during times when what she sees is totally new.
My wife - my lovely wife - one of God’s most amazing gifts to me will have the “joy” of dealing with these two adorable girls all by herself. This can be a difficult time for her and one of the blessings I can provide to her is the much needed respite or additional reinforcement when the will of a child is attempting to circumvent the wiser counsel of her parent. I’ll miss being there for her to help when she needs it or to stand in awe of the wisdom God has given her as she patiently instructs. Please pray with me that God would grant her an extra measure of wisdom and patience and pray, also, that God will grant our daughters an extra measure of obedience and attentiveness.
This is not a bitter entry - no, it’s actually an exciting one. I realize that though I am apart from them in person, they are mine and I am theirs. The gift that God has graced each of us through being a family is immeasurable. Missing them is actually a beautiful reminder that I have three amazing people to miss. Not having them near to me makes me desire their closeness once again.
So, yes, I am in a bittersweet mood, but I remain ever thankful for what I have received in the gift of my adoring family. Thank You, my sweet Lord and Father for granting me such mutual love to share and bask in and treasure. They are Yours, of course, but You have also made them mine and made me theirs. How incredible it is to have this small piece of Your glory reflected in our simple lives.
And to my girls - if you’re reading this - I love you more than words can say and look forward to seeing your beautiful faces next Saturday. Have fun!! And may God’s amazing and continual grace give you the strength to bless all you come into contact with and that they, too, will have the indelible mark of His presence with them because He has loved through you. Hugs and Kisses!!
Hopefully, you see in these writings a man who is staying The Course and pursuing The Path amidst the pitfalls and selfish ways of being a son of Adam. I pray earnestly that my writing would encourage some of you by showing you that this journey - though arduous and sometimes tragic - is a journey of great satisfaction. A satisfaction greater than our greatest imaginings. The trials and refining fire of tribulation are to be recognized as a small shadow of the suffering of our Savior so that we can rejoice, as Peter and the disciples did, to be counted worthy to suffer for the sake of the Name.