On Friday night, in the midst of the passion of WorshipGod09, I hit a spiritual high. A place where the Gospel was never more clear and Christ’s unparalleled love was more real to me than ever… which, of course, led to an emotional high (naturally). But when I awoke on Saturday morning (the last session of the conference), I began to notice something tugging at my heart. It was a recognition that I was going to leave this place soon and have to get back to my life… and I greatly feared I would be unable to follow through on any of the commitments I had made at this conference.

In Christian circles, this is the typical mountain-top roller coaster ride when you go to a conference. Usually you return gung-ho to change the world and quickly hit the valley of the status quo. It’s an infuriating cycle and it can really send you plunging into a seeming black hole of despair and discouragement.

The familiarity of life reminds us of who we are naturally, without the continuous refining of the Gospel alive in our hearts. Speaking the Gospel to ourselves is not a natural thing… it is, in fact, quite radical. But if we don’t, all the things that we fear about our lives are a guarantee… and much worse will quickly follow.

To remind myself, constantly, that I am a sinner that has been forgiven. To recognize that this forgiveness came with an unbelievable price… the Son of God dying on a cross to bear the punishment I so justly deserve. He died that I might live. He had to do this in order for the forgiveness of my sin to be a just thing. Without it, forgiveness would be impossible, unjust, and despicable. It would be like letting a murderer go free just because he said he was sorry.

I wrote the following in my pocket journal today:

The tug of complacency. One day after the conference and a return to my normal environment and I can already feel this incredible pull towards the status quo. The desire that reached its climax on Friday began its wane on Saturday and today, I find it evven harder to remember that feeling, that commitment to the Gospel. Proof that a feeling is deceitful and only truly meditating on the Gospel brings it back. That’s where the real fight is – not in the feeling or the practical commitments – it is in the spiritual, tangible desire to take the time to meditate because you know it will change you… or you’re afraid it won’t (but it will)

The gravity of the status quo is almost unbearable. It’s a drowning weight that threatens to completely steal any joy you might feel and cause you to dig in with your own strength or to simply give up. The only way to beat complacency is to meditate on the Gospel and pursue JOY! The joy that can only be found in Christ… meditating on His glory and recognizing just how immensely satisfying it is to pursue Him. To recognize how immensely satisfying it is to use your gifts for His glory. To revel in the satisfaction of knowing that the God of the universe has PAID YOUR DEBT IN FULL!! No guilt. No condemnation. No hopelessness. No mealy-mouthed woe-is-me.

Jesus paid it all
All to Him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

Thank you Jesus for your life. Thank you Father for adopting me as a son. Thank you Spirit for filling me. Thank you God for reminding me of the purpose of my life: enjoying You and magnifying Your glory in all that I do.